Fun quotes for my sistas

Gloria Steinem
A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after.

The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.

Marilyn Monroe
A career is wonderful thing, but you can't snuggle up to it on a cold night.

It's not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on.

I am invariably late for appointments ... sometimes, as much as two hours. I've tried to change my ways but the things that make me late are too strong, and too pleasing.

Maya Angelou
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass. 2:06 PM

I am sick today. I missed two classes. One was on Renal Pathology and the other on Renal Physiology. I hate the kidney. It's so complicated. The nephron haunts me when I go to sleep at night. Anyway, I decided that I would sleep in this morning because I woke up about 75 times last night. I crashed on the couch first, while watching something about Jesus on CNN. Then, Ryan changed the sheets on our bed to the soft ones that I like, and I crawled into bed at 3:00 am. I proceeded to wake up about once every hour until 7:00, when my alarm went off. My nose is stuffy, and I feel like my head it wrapped in wool. I'm not crabby, exactly. I'm distracted and sleepy.

Today is my sister's first day at her big engineering job. I am so proud of her I could bust. How many people get to say that their sister is an aerospace engineer? That just sounds impressive. We lived together in college, so I know how much work went into what she has become. She's brilliant, and I consider myself to be the luckiest older "sistear" in the world. This is, of course, not to mention that she's beautiful and has big boobs. Go on, Missy, with your bad self.

Diane and I went to a conference for Medical Students for Choice last weekend. It was very inspiring and informative. I think that the best part was that we spent some time with Diane's dad the night before the conference. He had just gotten through his first day in the Urgent Care facility at Cleveland V.A. Hospital, so he had lots of interesting stories to tell. It's cool to be treated like something of an equal by a physician. He must believe that we will treat anything he tells us with the gravity and professionalism the information deserves. That is awesome. I feel like I get to sit at the grown-ups table more and more often, and it rocks.

Now, all I have to do is get caught up in my classes, and clean up my apartment, and I'll feel like I am a grown-up and I have control over my life. This is, of course, in between blowing my nose a hundred times and hour. 12:41 PM

"I have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat." - Rebecca West, 1913 9:46 PM

I got this in an e-mail from my sister the other day.

Subject: The World Today

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage
his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with
milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of
cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to
sell both to support a man
in a foreign country who has only one cow, which
was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks
the other, pays you for
the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an
IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of
four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating
you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded
trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink
lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a
hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of
vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they
are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many
cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are
two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any
creature's private parts.
Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them
up while they were in the hospital.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed
attempting to milk them.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best,
vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you
which is the best-looking cow.

NEW YORK CORPORATION
You have fifteen million cows.
You have to choose which one will be the leader
of the herd, so you
pick some fat cow from Arkansa

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows
Most are illegal
Arnold likes the ones with the big teats
6:19 PM

Technology + Sara = Trouble

I decided that I was going to put some different music on my MP3 player. Well, that's not really the start of it all. I decided I need to get my lazy ass to the gym because my pants that fit me before Christmas are a little snug. So, when I decided to put some new music on my MP3 player, I was already in a foul mood. My computer did not want to cooperate. It denied that my MP3 player was connected to it, denied that the program I need to put music on the thing existed, and declined to let me install it. After some creative cursing, and worried looks in my direction from Ryan, I managed to figure it out. I very nearly chucked said MP3 player and all of its attachments, including this computer, out the window. I swear to God, this kind of thing frustrates me to the point where you may describe me as enraged.

Tomorrow I get to go do my first day of my Introduction to Primary Care II preceptorship. I will be working with a pediatrician in Oregon, Ohio. This place is across the river into a part of town I don't like to go to unless I'm a passenger. I'm not as bad at directions as some (my mom, for instance), but I have been known to end up in Michigan while trying to get home from Franklin Park Mall with somebody who shall remain nameless. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do at this thing. I know I have to be there for 4 hours. I assume there's going to be some interviewing of patients and/or their parents. I suppose I will get to peek into tiny ears and listen to little heartbeats. I'm going to bring my stethoscope. (Thanks again, Gary). That will be fun. I also assume I have a good chance of getting coughed and puked on. Wish me luck. 9:55 PM

I was reading on MSN Business that my first car, the Pontiac Fiero, was named as one of the worst cars of all time by Forbes Magazine. Wanna know why? People didn't like it because the engine had a tendency to catch on fire. Cool huh? 8:36 AM

Hey everybody, you should read this. It is a very interesting essay about how Americans perceive their first lady, especially a lady who kept her maiden name (gasp). I would like to comment on it myself, but I have a lot of neuropathology to finish before 10:00 am. 8:33 AM