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Tuesday, March 28, 2006
I'm hanging out here in Michigan with my family. Staying here is nice when you have nothing to do, meaning no homework or other responsibilities. The house has a rhythm that follows the brewing of coffee and the planning of dinner. You can get sucked in easily, especially since my mother is such a good cook. So, during this visit, I decided to learn to knit. I don't mean knitting goofy, old lady type things. I mean knitting a scarf in the freaking color I have been looking for for about five years, ever since I got my grey wool coat. I mean knitting a sexy sweater that's finally long enough for my freakishly long arms. It's actually fun, and demands enough attention to be interesting, but not so much that I can't carry on a conversation with my mom, grandmother, and great aunt. (who also happen to be sitting at the table with me, also knitting) Throwing on the first line of stitches is kind of like tying a surgeon's knot, which is also something I like. I have dreams about sewing up miles of skin, tying off thousands of vessels. This is a good hobby for someone like me. All of you should prepare for hand made gifts for Christmas or Hanukkah or whatever particular December festivities you participate in.

I suppose I should also attempt to motivate myself to go to the gym. I don't know why, if I was so gung-ho about it before, I can only muster a weak "eh" at the thought now. I don't even waste time thinking of a clever reason why I can't go. I'm just criminally lazy about it. Missy-- help me out here. I'm a skinny girl trapped in this body. There is no earthly reason I should be wearing size 12 jeans. My entire genetic background is peopled with toothpicks. The last time I got motivated, it was because Missy's boyfriend, Joe, told me that if I went everyday, I would see results in a month. He was right. I went everyday, and I saw some results. I definitely need to get off my ass. Residency starts on July 1st, and I want to be in better shape before the shit hits the fan. I can't imagine where I'm going to fit in exercise during my 80 hours of work per week, but I know I will be more likely to try to fit it in if I have had 3 months of making it part of my day.
~Sara~
5:27 PM


Saturday, March 25, 2006
I may take a holiday in Spain, leave my wings behind me. Drink my troubles down the drain. Fly away to something new.

I'm not depressed or anything. I'm just listening to the Counting Crows, and a holiday in Spain sounds nice.

I'm sitting here in the house I'm going to be renting in July. It's actually the house of a friend who is moving to a new city for residency, and I'm going to take over here. It's a little two bedroom, which allows me to have an office. It has a dishwasher, a washer and dryer, a basement, and a garage. This is all my idea of utopia. To explain my change in residence, I have matched here at home. I'll be joining the surgery department where I attended medical school. It's all kind of weird to me. I had planned to move to Boston or Chicago, but it just didn't happen. I'm happy anyway, but I know the next few months are going to be strange. My friends will all be leaving, with the exception of Sarah. I'm moving into this house to have a little bit of change. (I'm one of those people who really likes change.) The good news is that I'll be near my family, and many of my friends will be only an hour and a half away.

I heard from my hero, Dr. Z, today. He wanted to know where I matched. I'm making him a CD, to be called the "Z-mix" because he always listened to music in the O.R. I long for the day when I get to choose the music in the OR!

For the rest of my tenure as a medical student, I'm doing independent path case studies. That will be my last "rotation," and it doesn't require my presance at the hospital at all. I think this is a good idea.
~Sara~
11:03 PM


Monday, March 13, 2006
FUCK YEAH!

I MATCHED!

I'm going to be a surgeon somewhere. Somebody wants me!!
~Sara~
12:44 PM


Saturday, March 11, 2006
Here are some pictures of my friends and I at a bar downtown. I'm going to miss them so much! They're the coolest group of nerds I know.


I heart Laura.

Bobby, Sarah, Swapna

Mike and Mere

With the boys (Mike, Bobby, and Seth)
~Sara~
1:11 PM


Friday, March 10, 2006
Okay...sick as a dog now. Gonna vomit.

It is less than a week until match day. Less than a week. All of the 4th year students are walking around campus talking about it, and every time I hear somebody say something, anything, about it I get a little sick. We're all on pins and needles. In fact, the other day my friend, Albert, and I were both wearing grey pants and blue shirts, and I said to him, "Albert. We match!" One of the other students in the room suddenly looked up and said, "Match! Who matched? How do you know you matched?!" She had this look of utter disbelief on her face until I told her that the matching was in the clothes, not in jobs, or anything. We're also getting e-mail from ERAS and the NBME about what to do if we don't match, including the rules of the scramble and confidentiality and all of that. Most of us are refusing to read it because we don't want to worry about it unless it becomes necessary. Let me just say that I will be in a much better frame of mind on Friday afternoon, once my hangover wears off.

I'm looking forward to kissing my retail job goodbye. The job has ceased to be amusing, and I don't have much time to read books because I'm studying for my last shelf exam of my medical school career. It's in Neurology at the end of this month. I guess it's not Borders that is really my problem. I think it's that my days consist of clinic all morning and afternoon and then working at Borders until 11 pm. I'm kind of tired. I know this is just a sad prelude to the coming 5 years, and that I'm not always hitting 80 hours of work per week right now. I can't help but think that next year will be better and more awful my life has ever been. The main difference will be that I will be actually making some money, and that during my 80 hours of work, I may at least have the chance to go to the O.R. I'm not counting on going too much because I'll be a lowly intern, but it's a nice thought. I admit to feeling more terrified than excited about all of these changes sometimes. It's even creeping into my dreams.

Last night I had this terrible nightmare. I had moved to a city (I'm not clear on which city), and moved into an apartment with a spectacular skyline view. I was very very happy with my hardwood floors, and my fireplace (although the interior design that my subconscious imagines is not the one my conscious would choose). Then, I dreamed that when I was in bed, people kept coming to my door. The door only had a tiny lock on it, and the people looked kind of scary. That's when I realized that I had moved into a drug dealer's old apartment and those people were looking for drugs. The were knocking on the door and yelling at me. When I woke up, I had the thought that maybe I'm going to be more overwhelmed than I thought I would be by being in the big city all alone, and I should definitely try to scout out some of the safer parts of town. I think my mom dreams about me being blown up by terrorists, or something. We're all a collective mess over this.

I think that's all I really have to say right now. I'm working tonight and then going to a party with my peeps. Tomorrow I'm going to Michigan to check on Courtney and to do some laundry at my mom's house. Sunday I have reserved for my nervous breakdown regarding finding out if I matched on Monday afternoon. Thursday I will be catatonic from a second nervous breakdown until I find out where I'll be moving. Call me to revive me if you have time.
~Sara~
1:40 PM

About me
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Things I love
hot coffee in the morning, lively conversation, the ansa cervicalis, my bed, single malt scotch, men who read, hazelnut gellato, a good secret, people who make me laugh
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Missy
Courtney
Tiffany
Diane
Dave
Lindsay
Carrie
Ifinding
Cardiac Tamponade
MB
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crédits
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skin: slayerette, modified by Sara
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