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Tuesday, July 27, 2004

The Case for Memory
Jerome Rothenberg



I was amok & fearless

twice deceived
for which I sought out
satisfactions
in a tree. Too carelessly
I reached for love
& beaten down
I found you
in a froth or frenzy
spent my days around
the pan yards.
I would ask no help from those
whose trust is weak
but I would buy the latest
& the least.
I live for something practical
--the case for memory--
I set one foot into the space
the others leave abandoned.
Not your lord or slave
I meet you
in an equal clash of wills
& face you down.
I only touch the ground
on Sundays

From A Book of Witness by Jerome Rothenberg. Copyright © 2003 by Jerome Rothenberg
~Sara~
9:04 PM


Saturday, July 24, 2004
So, those tickle quizzes are pretty fun. I would like to report that everybody I know, including my own mother, thinks that I have gotten a speeding ticket. My sister has pointed out that when I had my Fiero, I drove like a bat out of hell. This is true. It just cracked me up that everybody thinks I got caught before I slowed myself down to granny-like speed. I have only had one ticket in my life, and that was when I crashed my truck. Apparently, the cop didn't think that completely mangling my truck was enough. It was lying on its side, looking forlorn, and she still wrote me a ticket for failure to stop within an assured safe distance. That's $150 and three points for all of you who have been lucky enough to avoid that type of crash. I have been pulled over for speeding twice. It's a good thing I'm a girl.

Nothing much has been going on in the clinic lately. I still work some long hours, but it hasn't been too bad. I did get lost on the way to Flower Hospital on Friday. If you give me directions, I will get lost. Whatever kind of car I get when I'm a real doctor and I have some money, it must have a GPS. I can say one thing, though. I am not as bad at directions as my mom is. I usually know which general direction I should be going in, but I just can't always get there.

I'm not sure about the rest of my classmates, but I'm having an incredibly hard time making myself study. A big part of the problem is that I don't get home from clinic until 7:30 or 8:00 most nights. I am not used to working 12 hour days anymore. When I get home, I am just exhausted. I was listening to some of my classmates bragging about how much they read, and I couldn't help by think they're either liars or losers. I'm not really worried about getting a good grade from my preceptor, but I am worried about the shelf exams. They're national exams, like the boards. The reason they're called "shelf" exams is that they can pull any old thing off the shelf and test you on it. I'm not even sure what kinds of questions there will be. Are they going to ask me about drug dosages? I hope not. I haven't learned any. The reading I have been able to force myself to do is also utterly lacking in basic science. It's all about clinical management. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to switch gears to that, or if they're going to test me on pathophysiology. That was the emphasis of the first two years. I just don't know.

That's the big problem in my life, I guess. I just don't know. I don't like it.
~Sara~
8:09 PM


Wednesday, July 21, 2004
I passed the boards! Yay! I don't have to take it again!
~Sara~
3:52 PM


Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Oh man, somebody just shoot me.
~Sara~
9:43 PM


Thursday, July 08, 2004
So, so Tired

Today was my first day in Family Practice. The drive is long. I thought I was lost for most of the trip, and there is exactly one gas station on the way where a frantic med student may stop for directions. Anyway, I found it. Everybody in the office is really nice. They also have lots of cookies. I like cookies of all kinds.

I saw some really sick people today. Bed sores, heart failure, lymphoma...you name it. I have confronted the fact that I don't even know the stuff I should know because there's so darn much of it. One really really special thing happened. I helped to deliver my first baby. It was a little boy, and he was pink, and perfect. So, the parents and the med student were sobbing like crazy people when he came out. (Of course, I'm the only crazy one.) I can say this about the miracle of life; it's not beautiful, but it is a miracle.
~Sara~
1:39 AM


Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Ho-hum Nothing to Study Yet.

Think you know everything about me? Take the "How Well Do You Know Sara?" quiz I created on Tickle and see how you score.

Here's my first question:

1. What's my sign?
* Sagittarius
* Libra
* Capricorn
* Pisces

Just click (or copy and paste) this link and you'll be taken to my quiz.
connect.tickle.com/test.html?id=LHY64p-zEHMyM-V7&

Sara
~Sara~
4:41 PM


Thursday, July 01, 2004
So, here it is, my schedule for the first day of school. I have only one thing to say... Let's hear it for free lunch! I can hardly believe that this is all going to begin so soon. July 6th is less than a week away. When I ask the people I know in the class ahead of me what to expect, they all tell me I'll find out sooner than I want to. That's what they said about the board exam, and they were right. That was a miserable 6 weeks of studying. Yuck. I can't believe I have to do it at least 3 more times before they will give me my M.D.

In any case, the third year of medical school has gotten mixed reviews from the people I have coaxed into talking about it. I hear that surgery at St. V's is a 6 am to 6 pm, at least. It's six days per week, and you will literally hate your life. Poor Diane has to start out on pulmonary in medicine. Sounds like a lot of sputum to me. At least it's not the kidney, right Di? I'll take sputum over putting a Foley catheter into a post-menopausal woman any day. Of course, foleys can pop up anywhere. I'm sure we'll all be hardened and jaded by the end of this, but I'm not there right now. Now, I'm actually looking forward to taking care of people. Okay, I'm a little nervous about touching them, and poking them with needles, but if that's part of "taking care" of them, I'll learn to do it. The next two years are going to be so wildly different than anything I have ever done. I just can't get over it. It's like really learning to do my job.

I know that I have complained over and over again about how much time medical school takes up. I really do bust my ass all of the time. Any of my fellow captives out there can attest to how much work this is. I hate sacrificing time with my fiance, my family, and my friends. I feel guilty all of the time, especially when I hear my brother, Nick, asking my mom when I'm coming home to visit, or when I have to tell Ryan that I'm going to Beaner's to study again. I haven't seen my friend, Courtney, who has been one of my dearest friends for almost 20 years, since Halloween. That sucks. We talked on the phone for about 2 hours today. I wish there was something I could do about this, but with med school, there's no half way. There's no forgetting about it for a week, or even a weekend. I know that sounds dramatic. You wouldn't want your doctor to go to school without putting her heart into it, right? So far, almost everybody has been really supportive. I just hope they can hang in there. This is what I love to do. This is what I was meant to be. I can so clearly see myself taking care of my fiance, my family, my friends, and my patients in the future. I am so lucky to be doing this. (fucking school)


Orientation to Clinical Clerkships
July 6, 2004

Room 110 – Health Education Building
9:00 - 10:00 a.m. Information Systems
Using the MCO computers
Julie Christy-Givens, R.N.
Churton Budd, R.N.
Kathleen Barber
Clinical Informatics Group

10:00 - 11:00 a.m. Infection Control
Protecting yourself and your patient
Joan Duggan, M.D. Associate Professor
Sandra Hensley, M.S., R.N.
Infection Control Practitioner

11:00 - Noon A Day in the Life of a Clinical Clerk
John Schaeufele, M.D.
Clerkship Director, Pediatrics

Noon - 1:30 p.m. Lunch
Sponsored by the MCO Alumni Association
Cristy Gray
Director, Alumni Affairs

1:30 - 2:00 p.m. Clinical Etiquette, Dress Code, and
MCO Objectives
Mary R. Smith, M.D.
Associate Dean for Clinical UGME and GME

2:00 - 2:30 p.m. Standardized Clerkship Grading Imran Ali, M.D.
Chair, Curriculum Committee

2:30 - 3:30 p.m. Medical Legal Issues Affecting Students
William Connelly, J.D.
Acting General Counsel

3:30 - 4:00 p.m. Evaluating Career Specialties Della Croci
Director, Residency Application Process and Careers in Medicine
Program, Office of Student Affairs

4:00 - 5:00 p.m. To Be Announced



You will be required to sign in/sign out to confirm your attendance at this required program.
~Sara~
9:32 PM


More pictures of the kitties! Posted by Hello
~Sara~
9:22 PM

About me
profile
My"Space"
Things I love
hot coffee in the morning, lively conversation, the ansa cervicalis, my bed, single malt scotch, men who read, hazelnut gellato, a good secret, people who make me laugh
People I love
Missy
Courtney
Tiffany
Diane
Dave
Lindsay
Carrie
Ifinding
Cardiac Tamponade
MB
Memories
'08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003' '09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003' '10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003' '11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003' '12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004' '01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004' '02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004' '03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004' '04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004' '05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004' '06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004' '07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004' '08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004' '09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004' '10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004' '11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004' '12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005' '01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005' '02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005' '03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005' '04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005' '05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005' '06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005' '07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005' '08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005' '09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005' '10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005' '11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005' '12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006' '01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006' '02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006' '03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006' '04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006' '05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006' '06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006' '07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006' '08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006' '09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006' '10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006' '11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006' '12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007' '03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007' '04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007' '05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007' '06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007' '09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007' '11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007' '12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008'
crédits
picture design: © Alexander Karpenko 2005 | aikart@pisem.net or AiK-art
skin: slayerette, modified by Sara
image font: adine kirnberg script