Endorphins are awesome.
I have been avoiding the gym for such a long time. I’m not even going to say how long, it’s that embarrassing. Today I finally decided that the "my MP3 player’s batteries are dead" excuse and the "I’m just too busy, with my work schedule of two hours a day" excuse don’t hold any water and it’s time to get off my size 10 ass. So, I forced myself to go. I walked into the building and I didn’t like it. I went into the locker room and I didn’t like that either. I didn’t like my first 5 minutes on the elliptical trainer. I didn’t like the old men from the rehab unit who tend to gawk at all of the women working out. But, then I hit my stride, enjoyed the 50 Cent on my MP3 player and thought about how nice I will feel when I’m done. The best part is that I do feel nice. I do! I was telling Fred that I don’t want to start my residency in a body that makes me feel ashamed, but that I just didn’t fucking feel like working out. I think it will take me a while to start liking it again. I think I might stick to the plan that my sister’s boyfriend, Joe, told me. Get to the gym 30 minutes per day, six days per week, and you will notice a difference. I’m holding you to that, Joe!

Today was also my first day of clinical anatomy. We met downstairs in the lab rooms with Dr. Yeasting. I swear to God that I have nightmares about the smell of those lab rooms. It is a smell you just never ever forget. If intimidation and self-doubt had a smell, it would smell like anatomy lab. I have to decide on a project to do in the lab. I want to do something hepatobiliary so that I look like a star when I go work with Dr. Z at IU. I won’t tell him that I just spent the last month learning all about it. I’ll just let myself look well studied and interested, the very model of a young Dr. Z in training. I guess I have high aspirations, or something.

Fred has taken pity on me and started helping me with my personal statement. It’s all marked up in red pen. I’m getting to the point where I’m actually happy with it. The exchange is a tuned up personal statement for washing dishes and cleaning up his house. It’s a fair trade, I think. 12:09 PM


You're a Summer. You're just a ball of energy that
is constantly going on and on!! You're kinda
like the energizer bunny. But you're
probably really athletic and even if you're
not, you'd be good in sports because of all
your energy. You're enthusiastic about
everything you do and find it hard not to be
happy. You're usually pretty optimistic but can
be realistic when needed. You always hope for
the best to turn out and many times they do.
Sometimes though, you let your temper get the
best of you but you apologize as soon as you
can because you hate people being angry with
you. You're friends love how active you are and
you make them feel, like they can do anything
crazy if they want to.

What season are you? (pics)
brought to you by
4:07 PM

I miss having a job. Really. I don't necessarily miss the jobs I have had, but I miss knowing that at the end of two weeks, I will get a paycheck. I even knew how much the paycheck was going to be, so that I could BUDGET ACCORDINGLY. I was never late on bills. I never bounced checks. I was responsible. In medical school, the office of financial aid has taken away any element of control. I was told that I was going to get a disbursment this month, and that it would be $1200. Okay. That's fine. I can afford to pay for my step 2, an away rotation, and I can get DSL for my house so I don't have to truck it back to MCO every time I want to check my email. Bonus. I budgeted my money according to that $1200 check, and all was going to be right with the world. This morning, I reviewed my account information, and I discovered that my disbursment is going to be somewhat less than $1200. In fact, it's going to be $189. Not $1890, $189. I went to the financial aid office to see what's up with that. I figured there must have been some kind of mistake. Well, I was informed that the $1200 figure was just an "estimate." Maybe I don't get the concept of an "estimate," but to me, that means that it meant $1200, give or take $100. I didn't think it was going to be give or take $1000! When I was a student at the University of Michigan, they gave us our financial aid refund at the beginning of each semester in a lump sum. That way you knew what was coming, you knew how much you had when you got it, and you could BUDGET ACCORDINGLY. If you happen to run out of money here, MCO financial aid wants to know why you didn't budget. Well.... do I have to answer that? This has been nothing but a struggle for the last 3 years. I'm going to start my intern year in July, and my first question is going to be when do I get my check, and how much is it going to be. Then, I'll be able to relax and learn how to be a surgeon. 2:57 PM

A medical student, an Internist, a Psychiatrist, a Surgeon and a Pathologist go duck hunting. They barely find their duck blind before the first duckflies over.

The medical student is the first to raise her shotgun, but unable to tell if the duck is really a duck, she does not shoot.

The internist aims his shotgun, but can not tell if the duck is male or female and he does not shoot.

The psychiatrist has the duck framed in his sight, but then lowers his shotgun, claiming "I know this is a duck, but does the duck know he's a duck?"

The surgeon quickly raises his shotgun, aims, and without pause shoots. The duck falls to the ground. The surgeon turns to the pathologist and says,"Go figure out if that's a duck or not." 5:39 PM